兩年了, 兩年後的我 終於有機會寫這篇日記, 這是開頭，我也知道我將會寫幾多. 我想為我的生活作一下總結 片段回到兩年前仲夏, 顥議享受最後暑假. 從來沒想過憂愁. 曾經有一段好開心的回憶在兩年前 兩年前,朋友,感情,學業,都沒有順利. 偏偏就有這一段回憶陪我踏上不歸路^^ 兩年前, 在機場出發, 在離境大堂上講完最後一個電話 當天立誓, 沒有所成, 絕不回頭 一個人在飛機上望著窗外, 已經知道要很久才會回來. 一個英文不合格, 外表似play boy, 被認為係壞人的顥議, 在飛機上一片空白 沒有害怕，只帶有被人歧視眼光的我, 想要一個夢想一場戰爭 對所有人開戰, 那想看不起我的, 那想憑外表看人的, 夢想可以改變四周人們對我的看法. 十多小時後, 在美國海關,用一些簡單英語與海關對白, 一句: welcome 正式開展我的生活 有一個好好host mother, 一隻大狗, 再加上二個學生, 形成了一個家庭 開始時,用不能入耳的English 溝通, 其實緊緊能與狗溝通 一次又一次笑話….. 一次又一次俾人恥笑. 一次又一次俾人老點. 英文咁差, 所以俾人擺左落英文班. 每天在房間查字典, 讀英文. 每天用極難聽的英文與其他人溝通 顥議深信自己終有一天可以站起. 終有一天 一個學期 (大約三個半) 過去. 完成第一階段英文班. 但始終沒有起色 曾經想過放棄, 但顥議問自己: 當你自己都覺得失敗. 戰爭結束 要成世俾人睇唔起, 咁點過到自己. 第二個 學期 (大約6個月後) 過去, 顥議也是在英文班. 其他人已經開始談論他們的major. 前途, 或者畢業community college後要轉去那一間名校 但試問顥議有資格嗎? 第三個 學期 (大約9個月後) 過去, 沒錯, 顥議也是在英文班. 當大部分人已脫離英文班, 顥議還在/ 當他們每天談論同科目, 顥議仍然沒有資格做任何事 從零開始的感覺一點也不好受. 當別人以為顥議每天去party 其實顥議只是在房間翻開一頁又一頁的書 窗外雪落不斷. 房內開著暖氣, 但顥議心內何曾感受一絲溫暖. 獨自奮鬥一點也不好受 暑假開始, 當大部分人離開了, 顥議留下了for my summer quarter. 終於在Major 一格填上business. 但在這一個quarter, 我遇上了人生最重要的一位老師, 沒有他就沒有今天的我 我希望所有記得顥議名字的人, 也會記下他的名字. Dr. Paul woodson (My chemistry Professor with P.H.D. from UCLA in Chemistry) Dear Sir: If you can see my words here, if you can know what I feel for you, you can take a rest. I will the rest of the things which you left for me. I know you are always around me. I won’t forget your name in my life. I still remember the summer I spent a good time with you to talk about Chemistry and my life. I still remember the day to tell me. Don’t let people make you down, also believe yourself. I still remember your face and your soft tone which I heard in the lecture all the time. You said I should go to the science field because you can feel I have some kind of potential. I changed my major because of you. I hope you are happy in the other place. Ho Yee 
因為他, 顥議成為了science student. 因為他相信顥議 因為他是唯一, 唯一從不看低顥議的一個 之後的一年時間, 每一個學期, 顥議很努力. 由20 credit 加到27 credit. 每天不停停努力衝刺, 忘記什麼叫享受, 忘記什麼叫快樂 數學, 化學, 物理. 晚上的房燈永遠長開, 只因不想令唯一相信我的人失望 由動能去到波動, 然後輻射, 量子物理. 元素分裂, 3D旋轉, 空間轉換 在這一年中, 顥議也參加了一個小核能反應堆建造計劃. 逗留college至10 點回家, 再努力. 因顥議深信可以改變別人睇法 改變自己 2008年6月尾, 顥議終於在two years community college 畢業. 一年完成two years associate of science degree with honor 在這一天, 顥議拿到畢業證書, 同時得到別人尊重. 顥議不再是一個失敗者. 但在不久的一個晚上, 顥議知道了一件事 顥議的化學老師離開了顥議. He died with the brain cancer. 他一早知道他會離開顥議, 他用最後的生命時間來教導顥議 他將他一切所知所做都傳授到顥議身上, 而顥議只能用一句多謝 顥議深信他將他的人生哲理和知識在顥議承傳下去 深信他存在是要告訴顥議要放棄. 在同一個暑假, 顥議仍留在community college 讀一些班. 而且顥議這college 尋找一些失去的影子. 現在顥議在那? 顥議告訴大家 Top three public university and top 5 engineering school in the US The University of Illinois at Urbana and Champaign The international undergraduate student: Ho Yee Hui Department: Chemical Engineering Address: 207 E. Healey Street Apt #6, Champaign, IL 61820, U.S.A. 顥議做到了, 顥議知道顥議的老師會為顥議而高興 顥議最終做到了 顥議現在又回到起點, 重新在這裏一步步向前 現在顥議不知道下一個目標是什麼, 也開始迷失 累了, 疲倦了 顥議是時候回家. 是時候休息一下 平安夜那天就是我回來的一日 顥議說過, 終有一天回來. 顥議兌現承諾, 兩年內一定回來. 你們還記得顥議嗎? p.s. 你 還記得我嗎?  
You ought to go north somebody told us
Cause the air is filled with gold dust
And fortune falls like snowflakes in your hands
Now I don't recall who said it
But we'd lived so long on credit
And so we headed out to find our promised land
Just poor Smoky Mountains farm folk
With nothing more than high hopes
So we hitched our station wagon to a star
But our dreams all fell in on us
Cause there was no land of promise
Though it's a struggle just keepin' sight of who you are
Oh and these northern nights are dreary
And my southern heart is weary
As I wonder how the old folks are back home
But I know that they all love me
And they're all thinking of me
The Smoky Mountains memories keep me strong
You know I've been thinkin' a whole lot lately
About what's been and what awaits me
It takes all I've got to give what life demands
You go insane if you give in to it
Life's a mill and I've been through it
I'm just thankful I'm creative with my hands
Oh and these northern nights they're dreary
And my southern eyes are teary
As I wonder how the old folks are back home
But I'll keep leanin' on my Jesus
He'll love and guide and lead us
The Smoky Mountains memories keep me strong
If I'll keep looking to the father
Keep our head above the water
While the Smoky Mountains memories keep me strong | 
